My Dad smokes all the time, he always tell me and my siblings never ever do them. But I know that smoking leads to lung cancer and eventually death, I am very worried about his life style, I see many cigarette packs in the car and I can get the guts to tell him to stop. What do I do?
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Don’t·
"Dad, you should stop smoking because it is bad for you." There you go.
I had exactly the same problem with my Dad, until he stopped of his own accord. To be honest, even with the well-documented health risks, smoking is something people are very lassez-faire about when it comes to their own well-being.
I think you do need to be upfront with him. You need to tell him somehow that it is bothering you, and that you are worried about how much he smokes. You may be surprised at the reaction.
However saying nothing isn’t the answer.
You can’t tell him to, but you can ask. Say you hate the worry that it might end his life early, and that you’re willing to be at his side throughout the process of giving up. If saying this face to face would be uncomfortable, write him a letter and on the back leave some phone numbers and websites that could also help and support him.
Usually I’d say that to smoke it someone’s personal choice, but I’ve known enough kids to be hurt by their parents smoking to know that it’s a different situation when children are involved.
Let him know how you feel.
Say it from the heart. In my case it would go something like this: "Dad, you raised use to be smart and healthy people. You also taught us to not smoke because you know that we would die from it, so why don’t you take your own advice so we can be a happy and healthy family together. I care about you as much as you care about me so imagine how you would feel if I started smoking a lot and that is how I’m feeling right now. I don’t want you to die, Dad, and I don’t want you to leave us early just because of smoking. For us, please find a way to kick this habit"
Really corny and sappy, I know, but it usually gets the job done and that’s the only goal at hand. I find really honest and sappy sympathy to touch people’s hearts and change them a more profounding and efficient method in persuasion for these types of situations. It’s also another way they understand that you’re being serious and sincere about it otherwise you wouldn’t have just made a fool of yourself with such corny and sappy dialogue.
My Mum has smoked since the age of 15, she’s 61 now.
I pleaded with her a s child terrified she would die, made no difference. As an adult I’ve tried bribery of all kinds and to be honest 99% of the time she gets wildly angry and sees it as none of my business.
In the end I stopped trying, I made her a promise that I wouldn’t pass anymore comment or try to get her stop on one condition. It’s going to sound harsh this but I told her if she dies young as a direct result from her smoking ie lung cancer, she is under no circumstances to voice any regret about no giving up to me. No regret, no panic or anguish to be laid on my shoulders because of her choices.
Her response was to say ‘fair enough’. I’m not sure guilt trips work …they have to want to do it themselves. I think giving up is hard for everyone but we have to acknowledge some smokers are hopelessly addicted and it is an emotional crutch as well as a physical addiction. My Mum always cites stress of some kind as to why she can’t give up..who doesn’t have stress? *shrugs shoulders*
just tell him…